The Dating Lessons, Part 3

Practical Thoughts

I used to have so many specific definitions for dating and courting and all that's involved. Now, I just have a few ideas to give single people parameters if they want to have a successful dating relationship.

Know your purpose:
You should go into dating with specific ideas of what is expected in the relationship. First and foremost is the given - to see if you're compatible. Not if you like the same kind of food or hobby, but to see if you can communicate well. Ideally, it's to see if your strengths can help the other's weakness and vice versa. Besides compatibility, you should also have an idea of what you want out of life and to see if both of you can blend those ideas in some way.

Know your perimeter:
Your dating relationship should have physical boundaries. This should be acknowledged and set in your mind even before you begin seeking the relationship. Dating is not a permission to be touchy-feely with the opposite sex which of course would lead to petting and inevitably premarital sex. So to help with that, it's best not to find hiding spots to "keep your conversations private." It's good to have privacy, but it's best to be in areas where you know people may accidentally walk in on you. Staying pure is of utmost importance in a dating relationship because it fosters trust in more ways than one.

Know who you're pleasing:
Entering a dating relationship is not about pleasing yourself. It's learning how to please the other person, but in the context of good communication. As previously stated, dating is not license to satisfy physical desires nor is it a place to salve emotional pain. Both lead to false expectations and does not allow for a freedom to leave the relationship if it is not in the best interest of both parties. In effect, the only one you should please in a dating relationship is God Himself. He is supposed to be the tie that binds the relationship, not sex or sexual contact, or even emotional or physical attraction. It is foremost a friendship that helps to develop your communication skills with the opposite sex.

In dating, you are essentially practicing to be married. Develop the habits now to have a healthy marriage instead of what is common in dating relationships these days: broken people who continue to break each other. By developing those good habits now, you will not only help the other person, but you will know how to deal with the challenges common to marriage relationships.